A ‘Dear John’, to a body.


Dear Body,


I’m writing this dear John because I am sick of you! I wish to break up, replace you and never want to see you again.

I am sick of trying with you, I do EVERYTHING and you don’t help at all!
 I diet and exercise, well as much as I can anyway.
I drink plenty of water, even Tea and Coffee flavoured water, for YOUR enjoyment!
I say no to Cake, except on special occasions – and who am I to determine which days are more special than others?
I do yoga on Mondays, unless we have a social engagement.
I take you to every social event that presents itself.
I clothe you, feed you, keep you warm.
I give you anti-inflammatories and pain killers when you are aching.

You messed up our blood pressure, I was there for you, got you meds, all to just help you regulate better.
You messed up our hormone production, I made sure to get replacements.
You don’t absorb the nutrients I feed you, I got you tablets to aid absorption.

I put so much effort into this relationship and this is how you repay me?
My feet hurt, my ankles are swollen
My sciatica has made sleeping impossible and my lower back is killing me.
You have definitely lost strength in your hands and our arms can’t even carry a box of wine anymore.

You have turned my beautiful legs into CYLINDRICAL cottage cheese
Can’t you just at least keep our veins from rupturing, these blotches look horrid!

I can carry on, but feel I have wasted enough time on you. I want a new body.
Thanks for nothing.


Dear Me,

You look at me in the mirror every day and not once share a compliment

You criticise and degrade every achievement we have made.

Did you notice that you can hardly see that old scar anymore

That cut on your finger from last week, is already healed!

Did you see the hair grew back on that spot you thought would be bald forever?

Your diet and exercise does not serve you, because you make us hate every second of it. 

If YOU don’t enjoy it, we don’t. Whatever you eat, will be fine and we’ll make due, but we can’t use it

if it’s riddled with your guilt and body abuse.

You ONLY drink coffee or Tea flavoured water, I spend hours extracting the water particles I can;

Unfortunately there is too little of it left to then solve that cottage cheese problem.

Cake is great, you are happy while you eat it, and that happiness help me to break the sugars down easily

Thank you for taking me to yoga, but you keep taking me out of my practise with distracted thoughts

I hate clothes and I can regulate my own temperature

The blood pressure was a result of a war I handled that day between a few cells and chemicals. 

After you started those ‘regulating’ tablets, I have been dealing with constant wars

I try and heal your injuries with the magic of inflammation and then you counter all my efforts with your pills.

My arteries and Veins carry oxygen and hormones to all your cells and carries CO2 and waste to all the correct exit routes. When they have to carry more waste than oxygen, please be supportive and loving and forgive the few that burst.

I try and talk to you, I give you small signs, big warnings, little warnings.

I try and tell you what I need. I make you tired when we need rest and recovery, I make you crave veggies when we are low on nutrients, thirsty when we need water… I am sorry that you misinterpret most of those hints.

I have been there for you through thick and thin, every moment of everyday, ALL of your life. 

Not a split second goes by where I am not busy keeping you alive, functioning and healthy. 

I am forever busy cleaning up your messes. 

Countering your acts of hostility. 

I will try a little harder, please may I ask the same?

Always there,

Your Body

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